I Wish You Knew

Your Partner Can't Fix Your Loneliness

You're lonely.
Not because you're broken. Not because something's wrong with you.
Because you're trying to get all your connection from one person.
Krista Williams built her business with her best friend Lindsay. Stayed married for years. Got divorced. And discovered something that changed everything: her deepest sense of security didn't come from her husband. It came from her friendships.
66% of millennials feel lonely every single day. Not because they're alone: many have partners. They're lonely because they've made one person responsible for all their emotional needs.That's not a relationship. That's a hostage situation.
In this conversation, Adam Lane Smith and Krista Williams break down why friendships matter more than romantic relationships for emotional health, how to conduct a friendship audit, and what happens to your nervous system when you finally let other people in.
This is about building the foundation that makes romance possible.

She's Mothering Him (And He'll Leave Her For It)

She's giving him everything.
Reducing friction. Avoiding hard questions. Making him comfortable. 
Hoping he'll finally step up.
He won't.
Not because he's broken. Because you've told him everything is fine.
Kelsey Wonderlin coaches women out of the patterns that keep them stuck: attaching too fast, ignoring red flags, and failing to have the conversations that actually build relationships.
In this episode, Adam Lane Smith and Kelsey break down the three mistakes women make in dating: bonding before vetting, compatibility testing too late, and waiting for men to lead conversations they should be co-creating.
About Kelsey Wonderlin: Dating coach specializing in helping women attract emotionally available partners. Creator of the Magnetic Dating Lab and the weed-out question framework.🔗 Instagram: @kelseywonderlin 🔗 Free Masterclass: How to Attract Emotionally Available Men | https://coaching.kelseywonderlin.com/3-things-free-opt-in
About Adam Lane Smith: Attachment specialist. Author. 17 years married. Helping one billion people become securely attached.🔗 Website: adamlanesmith.com 🔗 Attachment Assessment: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/🔗 Attachment Repair Program: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/

The Single Most Important Decision a Man Will Make

What if choosing the right partner is the most important decision a man makes? Schafer explains how leadership, respect, and healthy dynamics create attraction, loyalty, and lasting partnership.
Topics Covered:
👉 Why choosing a wife is the most important decision in a man’s life👉 The hidden damage caused by “mothering” and nagging dynamics👉 How positive reinforcement builds loyalty and emotional safety👉 The Executive Partner model and how to challenge without conflict👉 Treating marriage like a team instead of a battleground👉 Why becoming a high-value man matters more than “finding” the right woman👉 How vision, legacy, and future generations motivate discipline👉 The biochemical bonding effects of solving problems together👉 A practical nervous system reset that strengthens connection during stress
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam 
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Adam Schafer:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindpumpadam/Website: https://www.mindpumpmedia.com/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/ ⁨@MindPumpShow⁩  
#marriageadvice #relationshipgrowth #highvalueman

Why 50/50 Marriages Always Fail

Why do so many marriages fail even when both partners try to keep things 50/50? This episode breaks down why that model creates tension and what actually makes a marriage strong.
Topics Covered:👉 Why 50/50 marriages create resentment for both men and women👉 The difference between leading your wife vs. leading the marriage👉 Why most men want to lead but were never taught how in marriage👉 How responsibility—not feelings—is the foundation of masculine love👉 The CEO model of marriage and why it outperforms equality-based roles👉 How lack of leadership drains intimacy, connection, and desire in marriage👉 Why waiting for your partner to “do their part” weakens a marriage👉 How safety, trust, and attraction grow when a man takes ownership of the marriage
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam 
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Quentin Hafner:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/quentin_hafner/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/QuentinHafnerPodcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-quentin-hafner-podcast/id1507009007

How Stress from Relationships Destroys Your Body | Adam Lane Smith

Can relationship stress literally make someone sick? From cortisol spikes to blood sugar dysregulation, this discussion reveals how emotional conflict is processed by the body as a survival threat. 
Topics Covered:👉 How chronic relationship stress creates a cortisol association with a partner👉 Why psychological stress alone can spike blood sugar👉 Acute vs chronic stress and its impact on metabolism👉 The long-term health risks linked to insecure attachment👉 How oxytocin buffers anxiety and suppresses cortisol👉 Why stress drives rigid habits and poor coping behaviors👉 The communication gap between problem-solving and emotional regulation👉 Why validation strengthens connection without admitting fault👉 The biological equation behind attraction, bonding, and commitment👉 Emotional impermanence and the cycle of reassurance seeking
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam 
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Nick Norwitz: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicknorwitz/?hl=enYT: https://www.youtube.com/@UCLTZUJSEulehPtF_ytFiU_A Website: https://www.nicknorwitz.com/
#relationshiphealth #attachmenttheory #emotionalregulation

What a 45-Year Marriage Taught Her About Masculine Leadership

What does a truly masculine role look like in a healthy marriage? Daniele explains how masculine presence, emotional safety, and respect create trust, connection, and long-term stability
Topics Covered:👉 emotional safety as a core masculine responsibility in marriage👉 why women need security to bring their best selves👉 masculine listening and how it strengthens connection👉 why men retreat from emotion and how it harms the marriage👉 commitments required from both partners👉 what a man provides: safety, provision, character👉 what a woman provides: respect, peace, support👉 how to handle mistakes and vulnerability in a healthy, masculine way
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam 
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Daniele HageInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielehage/YT: https://www.youtube.com/@danielehageX: https://x.com/danielehage?lang=en

Why Anxious Guys Struggle in Love (And How to Fix It)

Are anxious men unknowingly sabotaging their love life? This video breaks down how anxious attachment affects dating, relationships, and self-worth and how to shift toward secure, confident patterns.
Topics Covered:👉 Anxious Attachment & Perceived Lack of Leverage👉 Using Humor in Attachment Work👉 Dating Struggles: Lack of Safety Cues👉 Anxious Dating Behaviors👉 Biological Basis of Anxiety in Dating👉 Importance of Value & Boundaries👉 Shifting from Victim to Hero Mindset👉 The Cycle of Seeking Oxytocin & Dopamine👉 Why Therapy Often Fails👉 Timeline & Definition of Secure Attachment
Transform anxious patterns by building value, setting boundaries, and taking consistent action. Relationships improve when fear no longer drives behavior.
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam 
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Trevor Hanson:Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ArtofHealingbyTrevorWebsite: theartofhealingbytrevor.com/from-anxious-to-secureInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theartofhealingbytrevor/?hl=en

The Real Reason Wives Stop Wanting Sex | Adam Lane Smith

Wondering why your wife stopped wanting sex? Discover the real reasons sexual desire fades in marriage and how emotional connection, hormones, and communication play a role.
Topics Covered:👉 How emotional connection impacts sexual desire👉 The role of hormones in reigniting libido👉 Oxytocin and the bonding process in marriage👉 Repairing conflicts to restore intimacy👉 Collaborative experiments to improve connection👉 Daily practices to build emotional closeness👉 Defining roles and shared vision for long-term intimacy
Transform your relationship by understanding the key drivers of intimacy. Learn how communication, connection, and hormones can reignite desire. Focus on Sex and start building a stronger bond today.
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam 
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Monica Almaguer:Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ModernMarriageWithMonica/featuredWebsite: skool.com/modernmarriagewithmonicaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/DRQ5kerktKA/

What Porn Really Does to Your Brain (Neurologist Explains) | Adam Lane Smith

Ever wonder what Porn really does to your brain? Dr. Trish Leigh explains how it hijacks dopamine, damages intimacy, and undermines trust and emotional safety in relationships.
Topics Covered:👉 Porn as a dopamine-driven addiction👉 How Porn disconnects men from real partners during intimacy👉 Why betrayal trauma becomes a nervous system crisis👉 Why healthy relationships require zero exposure to Porn or explicit digital content👉 Escalation patterns and how the brain bonds to fantasy👉 Objectification and “tool-use” brain activation after Porn exposure👉 QEEG brain mapping and how it validates real addiction patterns👉 Sexual Arousal Dysfunction linked to Porn and the arousal gap👉 The woman’s boundary-setting role in addressing Porn as an addictive behavior👉 The impact of Porn on relationship breakdowns and divorce rates
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam 
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
 Dr. Trish Leigh:Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrTrishLeighInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtrishleigh/?hl=enWebsite: https://drtrishleigh.com/

High-Performing Moms and the Pain No One Sees | Adam Lane Smith

What happens when high-performing moms carry hidden pain no one sees? This episode exposes the emotional cost of perfection, attachment wounds, and the struggle to feel safe in love and motherhood.
Topics Covered👉 The unseen emotional pain behind high-performing motherhood👉 How childhood instability shapes attachment and coping👉 The “quiet disorganized” attachment style explained👉 Emotional detachment as a stress survival mechanism👉 Healing and self-awareness after divorce👉 Nervous-system regulation and the need for safety👉 The guilt around self-care for high-achieving women👉 Reconnecting with emotions and authentic love
Behind every high-performing mom is often a nervous system in overdrive. True strength comes not from perfection but from reconnecting, feeling, and allowing love to be safe again.
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam 
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1