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Episodes
4 days ago
4 days ago
What happens when high-performing moms carry hidden pain no one sees? This episode exposes the emotional cost of perfection, attachment wounds, and the struggle to feel safe in love and motherhood.
Topics Covered👉 The unseen emotional pain behind high-performing motherhood👉 How childhood instability shapes attachment and coping👉 The “quiet disorganized” attachment style explained👉 Emotional detachment as a stress survival mechanism👉 Healing and self-awareness after divorce👉 Nervous-system regulation and the need for safety👉 The guilt around self-care for high-achieving women👉 Reconnecting with emotions and authentic love
Behind every high-performing mom is often a nervous system in overdrive. True strength comes not from perfection but from reconnecting, feeling, and allowing love to be safe again.
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Friday Oct 31, 2025
Friday Oct 31, 2025
What happens when attachment makes love something you have to earn? Adam and Annie uncover how childhood trauma and disorganized attachment make people perform for love instead of feeling safe being real.
TOPICS COVERED:
👉 The hidden pain of growing up unseen and emotionally neglected👉 How childhood trauma leads to disorganized attachment👉 The difference between loud and quiet disorganized attachment👉 Why many people equate love with performance and compliance👉 The psychological cost of people-pleasing and self-abandonment👉 Why traditional therapy sometimes misses attachment wounds👉 How coaching and brain rewiring can help restore authentic love
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Saturday Oct 25, 2025
Saturday Oct 25, 2025
What happens when toxic attachment feels like love? Maggie opens up about an 11-year relationship marked by addiction and emotional chaos, uncovering how her father’s betrayal shaped her patterns and need to rescue others.
✨ Topics Covered ✨👉 The link between childhood trauma and adult relationship patterns👉 The invisible caretaker role and how it develops👉 Addiction’s hidden impact on intimacy and integrity👉 Why women often ignore red flags or avoid hard questions👉 Understanding “micro-cheating” and emotional leakage👉 How disorganized attachment fuels people-pleasing👉 The connection between parental infidelity and fear of abandonment👉 Building awareness to break generational attachment cycles
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Saturday Oct 18, 2025
Saturday Oct 18, 2025
What happens when Quiet Disorganized Attachment makes love feel unsafe but loneliness unbearable? Adam reveals how this hidden attachment style forms, why it’s so misunderstood, and how healing begins.
Topics Covered: 👉 What Quiet Disorganized Attachment looks like in relationships👉 The childhood roots of this attachment style (unsafe and demanding parents)👉 How trauma creates emotional shutdown and perfectionism👉 Why psychology often overlooks or misdiagnoses this attachment pattern👉 The key differences between “loud” and “quiet” disorganized attachment👉 How fear, shame, and survival instincts shape adult behaviors👉 Steps toward recognizing and healing Quiet Disorganized Attachment
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
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Friday Oct 10, 2025
Friday Oct 10, 2025
What happens when an avoidant man is confronted with the emotional truths his partner has been holding back?
In this episode, Adam invites a couple to face nine brutally honest relationship challenges. The conversation dives into emotional shutdowns, loyalty issues, and the impact of childhood wounds — revealing what avoidance looks like when love and vulnerability collide.
✨Topics Covered:👉 The avoidant partner’s emotional response to jealousy and control👉 Why loyalty is the most important value for avoidant men👉 How childhood trauma shapes attachment and defensiveness👉 The fiancée’s honest feedback and hopes for their relationship👉 Adam’s therapeutic approach to reframing criticism as care👉 The meaning of emotional safety and repair in avoidant dynamics👉 Insights into building trust after past betrayal
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Friday Oct 03, 2025
Friday Oct 03, 2025
Why do avoidant men struggle so much with love, vulnerability, and connection?
In this video, we break down how avoidant attachment forms, why it creates barriers in relationships, and what can actually be done to move forward.
Topics Covered: 👉 What is attachment?👉The difference between secure and insecure attachment👉 How avoidant attachment shows up in men’s behavior and language👉 The hidden stress avoidant men experience (despite appearing calm)👉 Disorganized attachment and its two subtypes: loud vs quiet👉 Variations within avoidant men: ethical vs manipulative avoidant👉 Practical steps to shift avoidant patterns and grow toward secure attachment👉 Why rewiring attachment behaviors takes time and repetition👉 A real-life case study of transforming attachment patterns
Want to go deeper? Join me for this free training and learn practical strategies to overcome avoidant attachment and build stronger relationships https://get.adamlanesmith.com/freeregistration
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Tuesday Sep 30, 2025
Tuesday Sep 30, 2025
Why does avoidant attachment make it so hard to feel close, even in loving relationships? For many men, emotional distance isn’t a lack of love—it’s a stress-driven response that blocks connection. This video unpacks the psychology and biology behind avoidant patterns and offers tools to create healthier intimacy.
Topics Covered👉 Emotional shutdown and chronic unavailability in avoidant men👉 The “cone of death” metaphor for limited tolerance of closeness under stress👉 How stress blocks oxytocin receptors and hinders bonding👉 Practical tools like breathing and nervous system regulation👉 The difficulty avoidant men have with receiving praise or validation👉 The importance of intentional connection and balanced effort in relationships👉 Recognizing overservice and its role in creating emotional distance👉 Shifting from constant stress mode into rest and relaxation for better connection
Want to go deeper? Join me for this free training and learn practical strategies to overcome avoidant attachment and build stronger relationships https://get.adamlanesmith.com/freeregistration
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Saturday Sep 27, 2025
Saturday Sep 27, 2025
Why does avoidant attachment make it so hard to feel close, even in loving relationships? For many men, emotional distance isn’t a lack of love—it’s a stress-driven response that blocks connection. This video unpacks the psychology and biology behind avoidant patterns and offers tools to create healthier intimacy.
Topics Covered👉 Emotional shutdown and chronic unavailability in avoidant men👉 The “cone of death” metaphor for limited tolerance of closeness under stress👉 How stress blocks oxytocin receptors and hinders bonding👉 Practical tools like breathing and nervous system regulation👉 The difficulty avoidant men have with receiving praise or validation👉 The importance of intentional connection and balanced effort in relationships👉 Recognizing overservice and its role in creating emotional distance👉 Shifting from constant stress mode into rest and relaxation for better connection
Want to go deeper? Join me for this free training and learn practical strategies to overcome avoidant attachment and build stronger relationships https://get.adamlanesmith.com/freeregistration
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Friday Sep 19, 2025
Friday Sep 19, 2025
What does it take to shift from avoidant attachment to secure, engaged connection in just eight weeks?
In this episode, Adam talks with a client who shares her powerful story of breaking free from lifelong avoidance and building safety in love.
Topics Covered:👉 How early childhood trauma and lack of safety shaped avoidant attachment👉 The role of unhealthy relationships in reinforcing avoidance patterns👉 The process of building safety through healthy masculine presence👉 Practical tools for regulating the nervous system and creating trust👉 Learning to co-regulate and receive love without fear👉 Moving from hyper-independence to interdependence in relationships👉 Redefining femininity and partnership in a secure, balanced way
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
Friday Sep 05, 2025
Friday Sep 05, 2025
What happens when a wife feels invisible for 23 years?
In this episode, Adam uncovers the truth behind their broken marriage. From gambling addiction and emotional neglect to the deep longing for intimacy and trust, this raw coaching session reveals what it really takes to heal wounds that have been buried for decades.
Topics Covered:👉 How gambling addiction led to separation and divorce👉 Emotional neglect and the feeling of being “not enough”👉 Why emotional intimacy is essential—especially for women👉 The avoidant brain and fear of emotional sharing👉 Modeling accountability and apologizing to children👉 The difference between promises and true transformation👉 Building trust through transparency and accountability👉 Gratitude, humility, and support systems in healing👉 Requirements for reconnection: safety, intimacy, trust, no secrets👉 A five-month roadmap toward rebuilding connection and peace
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg
Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:
1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
#marriagerecovery#relationshipadvice#attachmentstyles