I Wish You Knew

Disembodiment rarely announces itself. It can look like fatigue, unexplained aches, trouble concentrating, or difficulty feeling close to the people around you. In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with embodiment expert Mark Walsh to unpack what happens when we stop listening to the body, and how rebuilding that connection can help you feel more present, connected, and human again.
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In this episode you will learn:
1- Why the body whispers, then sings, then screams, and what it costs you to keep turning the volume up over it2- What Mark calls the psychological apocalypse, and why the collapse may have already happened 3- The four connections modernity severed: to the body, to community, to nature, and to a higher power 4- Why treating yourself as a machine is the same habit that lets you treat everyone else as one5- What co-regulation actually is, and why it’s more than therapy6- Why chasing pleasure as a cure tends to land people somewhere worse7- Where to start: one embodied practice you can fall in love with, and how to pick the one that fits what you're missing
You don’t need to think your way back into connection. Sometimes the way back to yourself, other people, and the world around you starts with learning to inhabit your own body again.
Mark is an expert in embodied learning, emotional intelligence, and practical psychology. His work focuses on helping individuals and organizations improve their performance and well-being through the mind-body connection. He has a fascinating background, with extensive training in martial arts, mindfulness, and various psychological disciplines. Mark has also taught in over 50 countries, including working with the UN and humanitarian projects in war zones. 
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Mark Walsh: 🎥YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Theembodimentchannel📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warkmalsh/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embodimentunlimited 🌐 Website: https://embodimentunlimited.com/ 

Adam Lane Smith celebrates three years of the I Wish You Knew podcast by reading your wildest comments, answering your most pressing questions, and sharing what he has learned from three years of conversations with guests from every walk of life.
In this special episode Adam reflects on the shows that surprised him most, the moments that changed his thinking, and what he believes the future of men and women in relationships actually looks like. No guest. No script. Just Adam, your comments, and three years worth of things he wishes you knew.
Looking for more way to learn from Adam?
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👉 Watch my latest Masterclass replay to learn The Pattern Breaker Method and the secure repair skills that can help rebuild emotional safety, reduce defensiveness, and create meaningful change https://youtube.com/live/uF5WfsiBVyU 
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Most women use therapy as a metric for whether a man is ready for marriage. Most couples therapists are operating from a framework that was never designed with men in mind. And one licensed professional clinical counselor has seen enough that he is leaving the field entirely.
Adam Lane Smith sits down with Jeff Saint James, licensed professional clinical counselor and men's issues specialist, to break down what modern therapy is getting wrong about men, why couples therapy is failing husbands at an alarming rate, and what women need to understand about the men they love that nobody in the mental health field is telling them.
What you will learn in this video:1- Why therapy as a metric for a healthy man is one of the most misleading filters women are using today 2- Why the couples therapy field is operating from assumptions that actively harm men and what those assumptions are 3- Why paternity fraud is one of the most underreported and destructive forces in modern relationships 4- Why men in survival mode cannot express their needs and what happens to a relationship when that continues for years 5- What masculine leadership actually looks like and why it is not what most women were told to be afraid of 6- Why gratitude and respect do more for a marriage than almost any therapeutic intervention 7- Why men and women are suffering in the same relationships without either one being able to see what the other is carrying
If you love a man and want to understand what is actually happening inside him, this is the conversation that will change how you see him.
Jeff St. James is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), relationship strategist, and host of the Ask a Brotha podcast. Combining clinical expertise with candid cultural commentary, he helps people build emotionally safe, accountable relationships while tackling modern dating, emotional safety, and family dynamics.
👉 Reserve your spot for this FREE masterclass and learn the conversation and secure repair skills that help you lead change, even when your partner has given up. https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/masterclass-signup?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13
👉 Jeff St. James is a licensed clinical counselor in the process of leaving the therapy field because it keeps allying against the men it was supposed to help. If you want to understand what healthy masculine leadership actually looks like, the FREE Secure Circle is where that conversation keeps going. Join free: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13
👉 Too much couples therapy puts the man in the villain seat before the work even begins. Secure Circle Plus takes a different approach: coaches hold both partners accountable while teaching the attachment skills that rebuild connection through courses, practicums, and direct Q&A. Upgrade: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13
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You are genuinely loved. Your partner is loyal. And you still cannot breathe out and relax all the way. That is not a character flaw. It is a biochemical problem. And it has a biochemical answer.
Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Sue Carter, the world's leading expert on oxytocin and vasopressin bonding, to break down exactly why some people cannot feel safe even when they are safe, what chronic fear does to the body over a lifetime, and what the science of love hormones actually tells us about how human beings bond, heal, and survive.
What you will learn in this video:
1- Why you can be genuinely loved on paper and still be physically unable to feel that safety and what is actually happening in the body when that occurs 2- Why oxytocin is an extraordinary molecule and a terrible drug and what that distinction means for every person buying oxytocin spray 3- Why stress is not inherently bad and why shared challenge is actually one of the most powerful bonding mechanisms available to couples 4- Why the body encodes negative experiences differently than positive ones and what that means for people trying to heal 5- Why fathers who help raise their children live measurably longer and what the research says about sociality and longevity 6- Why novelty and shared experience produce more bonding than sitting on a couch together ever will 7- Why love connection and oxytocin are nature's medicine and why you cannot buy them on the internet
If you have ever wondered why safety feels impossible to feel even when it surrounds you, this conversation will give you the science behind what is happening and what can actually change it.
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Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Aaron Kheriaty, psychiatrist, medical ethicist, and author of Making the Cut, to break down what modern psychiatry is getting catastrophically wrong, why the chemical imbalance model is not just incomplete but actively harmful, and what actually heals people when medications and therapy alone are not enough.
What you will learn in this video:
1- Why reducing mental illness to a chemical imbalance in the brain has produced a generation of people who believe they will never get better 2- Why psychiatrists are seeing numbers on a sheet instead of people and what the system that created that looks like from the inside 3- Why physical activity four times a week is as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression and why nobody tells patients that 4- Why relationships are the single strongest predictor of outcomes even in the most severe mental illnesses including schizophrenia 5- Why people in third world countries with schizophrenia often do better than people in industrialized nations and what that reveals 6- Why modern life has become voluntary solitary confinement and why dopamine binges have replaced human connection 7- Why the loneliness epidemic cannot be solved by more therapists and what actually has to happen instead 8- What Dr. Kheriaty would change about American psychiatry if he had absolute power and control
If you have ever been handed a prescription and sent home and felt like something essential was being missed, this conversation will show you exactly what that something was.
👉  Start building secure attachment in the FREE Secure Circle. Get access to the community, foundational resources, support from others on the same journey, and weekly insights. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30
👉  Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for weekly masterclasses, skill demonstrations, and guided exercises that move you from learning into doing, plus my best courses, coach Q&As, and a private community. Join Secure Circle Plus today:  Join Secure Circle Plus today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30
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Aaron Kheriaty, MD, is a physician specializing in psychiatry and author of five books, including most recently, Making the Cut: How to Heal Modern Medicine (2025). He is a Fellow & Director of the Program in Bioethics, Technology, and Human Flourishing at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. He also serves in consulting and advisory roles at the Brownstone Institute, the Zephyr Institute, the Paul Ramsey Institute, and the Simone Weil Center for Political Philosophy. 
https://x.com/AaronKheriatyMD https://www.aaronkheriaty.com/ 

He built one of the most controversial dating sites in the world. He told every woman upfront on day one that he did not believe in marriage. And then he met Dana. And everything changed.
Adam Lane Smith sits down with Brandon Wade, founder of Seeking.com, and his partner Dana to break down what it actually takes to win an avoidant man's heart.
What you will learn in this video:
1- Why Brandon spent years believing love was a concept invented by poor people and what changed his mind 2- Why radical honesty on a dating profile attracted the right person faster than anything else 3- Why dating apps give you quantity but why quality requires something completely different 4- Why 65 percent of couples once met through family and friend networks and what the collapse of that has done to modern relationships 5- What women are actually looking for underneath the surface and why financial safety is not gold digging 6- Why men who pursue skill mastery and competence are automatically more attractive and how Brandon proved it 7- Why avoidant men build layers of ego and what the one thing is that finally brings those walls down 8- What secure attachment actually looks like inside a real relationship between two people who almost never found each other
If you have ever wondered whether an avoidant man can actually change, this conversation is your answer.
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She lost her mother to a brain aneurysm. Then three years to the day, her 26 year old husband died of a heart attack. She was a therapist who had studied grief and still felt completely unprepared for what it actually felt like. 
Adam Lane Smith sits down with Amy Morin, therapist and bestselling author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do”, to break down what mental strength actually is, why resilience is not the same as just bouncing back, and what people with anxious attachment specifically need to hear about building the capacity to survive hard seasons without losing themselves.
What you will learn in this video:1- Why resilience is not about bouncing back and what mental strength actually looks like from the inside 2- Why stopping certain behaviors is often easier and more powerful than starting new ones 3- What learned helplessness is and why understanding it changed everything about how Amy works with people 4- Why anxiously attached people are uniquely vulnerable to the 13 thinking traps that drain mental strength 5- Where the line is between helping someone grow stronger and accidentally making them helpless 6- Why chasing someone who disrespects you costs you more than the relationship ever gave you 7- What to do when you are at the bottom and even the thought of doing 13 things sounds like too much 8- How to teach your children emotional regulation without hiding your hard moments from them
If you have ever sat on the worst day of your life and wondered how you are going to get through it, this is the conversation you need to hear.
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👉  Surviving your worst days takes more than pushing through. Real strength grows from secure attachment. Start building secure attachment in the FREE Secure Circle. Get access to the community, foundational resources, support from others on the same journey, and weekly insights. Join today:  Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16
👉 Strength is not a feeling, it is a skill you practice. Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for weekly masterclasses, skill demonstrations, and guided exercises that move you from learning into doing, plus my best courses, coach Q&As, and a private community. Join Secure Circle Plus today:  Join Secure Circle Plus today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16
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He did everything right. Stayed loyal. Showed up for his family. And one day in Florida he found out his wife had been having an affair. That was the moment everything he thought he knew about himself collapsed.
Adam Lane Smith sits down with Ralph Brewer, author of The Dead Bedroom Fix and founder of Dad Starting Over, to break down what actually happens to a man after infidelity and divorce, why so many men get stuck trying to recover alone, and what the woman who loves a divorced man needs to understand about the fear he is still carrying.
What you will learn in this video:
1- Why discovering infidelity destroys a man's existential safety at the deepest level 2- Why so many men attach themselves to the wrong woman and ignore red flags for years without knowing why 3- Why a man who hates his wife still tries to pursue her and what he is actually looking for 4- Why the divorced man is hesitant to commit again and what his hesitation is really about 5- What the woman dating a divorced man needs to know about the wounds he is still carrying 6- Why men try to recover alone and why that almost always makes things worse 7- What the single most important thing is a man in a dark place after divorce can do right now 8- Why the lone wolf mentality is one of the most dangerous lies men tell themselves
If you love a man who has been through divorce and cannot figure out why he keeps holding back, this conversation will show you exactly what he is carrying and what he actually needs from you.
Connect with me on your second preferred platform:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith
👉 A divorced man's guardedness is rarely about you. Understand attachment, access foundational resources, and join a supportive community in the FREE Secure Circle. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/9
👉 Understanding his past is the start. Loving him well through it takes skills you can practice. Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for weekly masterclasses, skill demonstrations, and guided exercises that move you from learning into doing, plus my best courses, coach Q&As, and a private community. Join Secure Circle Plus today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/8
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📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/8
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Ralph Brewer is the author of REBUILD, The Dead Bedroom Fix, and other bestselling books for men. After rebuilding his own life following divorce, he now helps hundreds of thousands of men through his books, podcast, and the Help For Men community.
My most popular book: deadbedroomfix.comThe Brotherhood: helpformen.com/join

Money is in the top three reasons for divorce in America. But most couples fighting about money are not actually fighting about money. They are fighting about safety, worth, and trust.
Adam Lane Smith sits down with Rachel Cruze, financial expert and bestselling author, to break down why money fights are almost never about money, what your attachment style is doing to your finances, and how to finally get on the same page with your partner before the fight becomes a crisis.
What you will learn in this video:1- Why avoidant people hoard money and anxious people overspend and why both come from the same wound 2- Why joint accounts get more hate on social media than any other financial advice and what that reaction actually reveals 3- Why the prenup conversation is not about divorce but about whether you are building a team 4- Why four generations of women were told men cannot be trusted and how that is running marriages today 5- Why money fights are marriage problems in disguise 6- Why the man who earns more and still feels worthless is an attachment problem not a financial one 7- Why working together to pay off debt improves marriages even when nobody taught a marriage class 8- What to do when one partner is a saver and one is a spender and neither can understand the other 9- Why 49 percent of Gen Z women say having children is no longer important and what is underneath that number
If money has been a source of fighting, hiding, or distance in your relationship, the problem probably started long before the bank account did.
👉 Avoidant people hoard money. Anxious people overspend. Both patterns come from the same wound, and neither one gets fixed by a budget. To learn more about your attachment style and how it affects how you handle money, join the free Secure Circle to get access to weekly deep-dive videos, monthly masterclasses, and monthly Q&As. Start here: http://links.adamlanesmith.com/free-secure-circle 
👉 Earning more but still feeling empty? Hiding money from someone you love? That’s not a finance issue. That’s attachment. Secure Circle Plus helps you change the pattern for good with courses, live sessions, and direct Q&A with Adam’s team. Upgrade here: http://links.adamlanesmith.com/plus-secure-circle 
💬  Work with Adam Lane Smith and his Certified Attachment Coaches to repair your attachment style and build healthier, lasting relationships http://links.adamlanesmith.com/priv-coaching   
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Rachel Cruze:- Two-time #1 national bestselling author and financial expert.- Host of The Rachel Cruze Show and co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour.- Has served at Ramsey Solutions since 2010, teaching budgeting, debt-free living, and personal finance.- Public speaker since age 15, speaking to audiences of up to 10,000 alongside her father, Dave Ramsey.- Featured on major media outlets including Good Morning America, Today, CNN, Fox & Friends, and Live with Kelly and Ryan.- Believes anyone can take control of their finances, avoid debt, and build a life they love.- Follow Rachel on:YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@TheRachelCruzeShow Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rachelcruze TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@rachelcruzeFacebook https://www.facebook.com/rachelramseycruze 

👉 Feeling disconnected, anxious, or overwhelmed by modern dating and social media? Start building secure attachment for FREE. Get access to a supportive community, foundational attachment resources, weekly insights, and practical tools to build healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self. Join FREE today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=6/25
👉 Ready to break free from the patterns modern culture has taught you? Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus to build secure attachment, form healthier relationships, and create genuine connection. Get access to Adam's complete courses, live masterclasses, coach-led practicums, workshops, Q&As, and private community. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=6/25
Women today are not being liberated. They are being turned into commodities. Their insecurities are being weaponized, their dopamine systems are being hijacked, and the loudest voices telling them this is freedom are the ones profiting from their destruction.
Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Freya India, author of Girls and one of the most important young voices writing about what is actually happening to women today, to break down exactly how modern culture is pulling women apart from themselves, from men, and from the possibility of real connection. This is not a culture war video. It is an attachment science and cultural psychology breakdown of why young women have never felt more anxious, more alone, or more convinced the problem is them.
What you will learn in this video:
1- Why young women are not lonelier than ever but have so many simulations of connection they never get lonely enough to do something about it2- Why social media did not create new insecurities in girls but amplified the existing ones at a scale no previous generation ever faced3- Why one piece of pornography produces 21 times the dopamine of a real sexual experience and what that is doing to men and to the women who love them4- Why most men have not had a hug since the age of ten and what that loneliness is producing in their relationships5- Why avoidant attachment in women is rising and why it is almost always a defense mechanism not a personality6- Why young women are having sex on the first date because they believe if they do not someone else will7- Why women's moral instincts are being reframed as insecurity and what they lose when they stop trusting them8- Why the therapy content telling women to have no emotions is describing the opposite of secure attachment9- What it actually looks like to step off social media and see clearly for the first time10- Why young women are not the problem and what actually is
If you have a daughter, a niece, a sister, or a young woman in your life who has convinced herself the problem is her, this conversation will give you language for what you have both been watching happen.
📚 WORK WITH ME
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Freya India is a contributing writer at The Free Press. She is also author of the new book, GIRLS®: Generation Z and the Commodification of Everything.
LINKS: Substack (freyaindia.co.uk) 
Book: GIRLS®: Generation Z and the Commodification of Everything
X: https://x.com/freyaindiaa